Disapproval by society – my experience | mteodoraa

 

What happens when the period of life comes when you want something, you plan your goal, want to go one way that you have thought to go and from so much joy that you slowly find yourself, you share those desires and dreams with others in the hope that they will support you that way. And then something unexpected happens. Your choices are questioned by the society, humiliated, and you are wondering whether it is what you really want. You are now slowly lowering your dreams, slowly treading them down, slowly entering that mold of today’s society. And it hurts you. It hurts you because you give up on your dreams. It hurts because the people you love don’t support you. It hurts because of this isn’t what you wanted. And what to do now when you are alone, hurt and without any support?

 

Šta onda kada dođe period života kada vi poželite nešto, zacrtate sebi cilj, želite da pođete jednim putem kojim ste vi zamislili da krenete i od tolike radosti što polako pronalazite sebe, vi te želje i snove podelite sa drugima u nadi da će vas podržati na tom putu. I onda se desi nešto neočekivano. Vaši izbori budu dovedeni u pitanje okoline, ponižavani i vi se zapitate da li ste upravu i da li je to što želite zaista ono žto želite. Polako spuštate svoje snove, polako ih gazite, polako ulazite u taj kalup današnjeg društva. I boli vas. Boli  vas jer odustajete od svojih snova. Boli jer vas ljudi koje vi volite vas ne podržavaju. Boli jer ovo nije ono što ste vi hteli. I šta da radite sada kada ste sami, povređeni i bez imalo podrške? 

 

Now turn to me. I’m here for you. I do understand you. I’ve gone through a similar experience.

 

Sada se okrenite meni. Ja sam tu za vas. Ja vas razumem. Ja sam prošla kroz slično iskustvo.

 

And that is why I am here with you today for the first time to speak honestly about my experiences, about something I personally experienced on my skin, and to try to help people who are dealing with the same problems. And believe me, humiliation by society, and above all, the people you love is a big problem for us and our feelings. So, let me tell you my story. I hope someone will find the strength and inspiration in this and that will help you. I won’t allow any kind of insulting and bad comments on such posts because these are the true things that we are talking about here. So if you want to read my story and how I have dealt with convictions of people, then enjoy. I love you!

 

I zato sam danas tu sa vama da prvi put iskreno pričam o svojim iskustvima, o nečemu što sam lično doživela na svojoj koži i da pokušam da pomognem ljudima koji se nose sa istim problemima. A verujte mi, nepodržavanje okoline, i pre svega, ljudi koje volite, je veliki problem za nas i naša osećanja. Zato, hajde da vam ispričam svoju priču. Nadam se da će neko pronaći snagu i inspiraciju u ovome i da će vam pomoći. Nikakvo vređanje i ružne komentare neću dozvoljavati na ovakvim postovima jer su ovo istinite stvari o kojima mi ovde razgovaramo.  Pa ako želite da pročitate moju priču i kako sam se ja izborila sa osudama ljudi, onda uživajte. Volim vas!

 

I remember like it was yesterday. I was 12 years old, I sat in the class when the teacher asked me if I knew which high school I would enroll or college. Most of my friends in the class said that they didn’t know, that it was early and similar, while I, like a cannon, answered that I knew. I said that I will enroll in the grammar school and that I will study law later. And it was the first time that I publicly and accurately told anyone that I would study the law.

 

Sećam se kao da je juče bilo. Imala sam 12 godina, sedela sam na času muzičkog vaspitanja kada me je nastavnica upitala da li znam koju ću srednju da upišem ili čak fakultet. Većina mojih drugara iz odeljenja je reklo da ne zna, da je još rano i slično, dok sam ja kao iz topa odgovorila da znam. Rekla sam da ću upisati gimnaziju prirodno-matematički smer, a da ću kasnije studirati prava. I to je bio prvi put da sam javno i naglas ikome ikad rekla da ću da studiram prava.

 

So my story begins. Through two years of elementary school and all four years of high school, people have always been full of prejudices. Why you will study law, it isn’t college, today faculties are only those with mathematics, computer science, biology. I was a kid, a teenager. The support of the people around me at that moment meant everything to me. But I had to grow up and give myself the support I expected from other people. Professors in high school have always been laughing when I would all proudly say that I want to study the law. Some even told me that I will never work with that college, how I will work for a little money, that I am too smart for this college. I have only one question for them: Do you people have a notion of life?

 

I tako moja priča I počinje. Kroz dve godine osnovne škole I sve četiri godine srednje, ljudi su oduvek bili puni predrasuda. Šta ćeš ti da studiraš prava, to nije fakultet, danas su fakulteti samo oni sa matematikom, informatikom, biologijom. Ja sam bila dete, tinejdžer. Podrška ljudi oko mene tada mi je značila sve. Ali, morala sam da odrastem I da sama sebi pružim podršku koju sam očekivala od drugih ljudi. Profesori kroz srednju školu oduvek su se podrugljivo smešili kada bih ja sva ponosna rekla da želim da studiram prava. Neki su mi čak I rekli kako se nikad neću  zaposliti s tim fakultetom, kako ću da radim za mali novac, kako sam ja previše pametna za taj fakultet. Ja imam samo jedno pitanje za njih: Da li vi ljudi imate pojma o životu?

 

All these are people who want you all the best in life? Well, it’s not like that. Believe me, each of us has the right to express our opinion when someone asks us for an opinion. But we have no right to offend someone else’s choices and decisions. It’s not your life. That’s not your thing. Do you know what’s the worst? Only people who were dissatisfied with themselves and their lives were destroying mine too. Then I didn’t understand it, I was hurt, I wandered, I reconsidered my decisions. But now, when I managed to keep myself on my feet, I realized a simple fact – in your life, one who has his own will never be interfered with! Don’t forget that.

 

Sve su to ljudi koji vam, jel  tako, žele sve najbolje u životu? E pa nije  tako. Verujte mi, svako od vas I svako od nas ima pravo da iskaže svoje mišljenje onda kada ga neko pita za mišljenje. Ali nema nikakva prava da vređa tuđe izbore I odluke. To nije vaš život. To nije vaša stvar. A znate li šta je najgore? Što sam na osude I vređanja mog izbora I životnog puta nailazila samo od osoba koje su bile nezadovoljne same sobom I svojim život. To tada nisam shvatala, bila sam povređena, lutala sam, preispitivala sam svoje odluke. Ali sada, kada sam uspela da se održim na svojim nogama, shvatila sam prostu I jednostavnu činjenicu – u vaš se život nikad neće mešati neko ko ima svoj! Ne zaboravite to.

 

It’s very difficult when you dream of being a lawyer from a young age, to fight for the justice that today in the world is a bit, you dream of doing what you love in life, and then people come and go to ruin it all. And you just don’t understand. You don’t understand why. I would never tell anyone that the job he was dealing with was stupid, that it wasn’t for him, that he could do much better. Even if I think it might not be the right job for him, I would explain my reasons to him in the best possible way, but I would tell him that I support him whatever he decides. That’s his life is, isn’t it?

 

Jako je teško kada još od malih nogu sanjate da budete advokat, da se borite za pravdu koje danas u svetu malo ima, sanjate da radite u životu ono što volite, a onda dođu ljudi I krenu da ruše sve to. I vi prosto ne razumete. Ne razumete zašto I čemu sve to. Ja nikada ne bih rekla nekome da je posao kojim se on bavi glup, da to nije za njega, da je on mogao mnogo bolje. Čak i ako mislim da to možda nije pravi posao za njega, objasnila bih mu svoje razloge na najbolji mogući način, ali bih mu rekla da sam mu podrška šta god on odluči. To je i ovako njegov život, zar ne ?

 

You see, this is the true quality of a man. Don’t allow yourself to spend as much time as you are wondering if you are right, whether you are going the right way. Don’t bring your dreams into question just because of what the society has to say. Don’t listen to what people are telling you, but who is telling you. A person who is satisfied with his life, what he does, what he is doing, a person who is surrounded by love and freedom, will never deny you the same thing. You don’t want to be those people who will become doctors because of what mom, grandma, dad, sister, the aunt said so. Such people are not eager for knowledge, they are not eager to provide help to people tomorrow as doctors. Not. They are eager to show themselves, to get diplomas, and that’s enough for them. And will it be enough for you when you take your sick child tomorrow to be treated by such a doctor, and he has no idea about the job he is dealing with? Stop and consider what consequences all these can cause.

 

Vidite, to je prava odlika čoveka. Nemojte da dozvolite da kao ja provodite sate pitajući se da li ste u pravu, da li idete dobrim putem. Nemojte da dovodite svoje snove u pitanje samo zbog nečega što okolina ima da kaže. Ne slušajte šta vam ljudi pričaju, već ko vam priča. Osoba koja je zadovoljna svojim životom, onim što radi, onim čime se bavi, osoba koja je okružena ljubavlju i slobodom, nikada neće vama da uskrati to isto. Ne želite da budete one osobe koje će da postanu lekari zbog toga što je tako rekla mama, baba, tata, sestra, tetka. Takvi ljudi nisu željni znanja, nisu željni da kao lekari pružaju pomoć ljudima sutra. Ne. Oni su željni samo da se pokažu, da dobiju diplome i to je za njih dovoljno. A da li će biti dovoljno  za vas kada sutra odvedete vaše bolesno dete da ga takav lekar leči, a on nema pojma o poslu kojim se  bavi ? Zastanite i razmislite kakve sve to posledice može da prouzrokuje.

 

This, of course, doesn’t only apply to the work of a doctor, but it is in my country, and I believe and the wider, the case that is most common. Many people become doctors by forgetting what it means to be a doctor and how much it’s actually a noble job. I, who am able to enroll and complete any faculty and which I could choose faculties because I am a very good student, responsible and willing to give up, I have chosen what I love, not what the world has told me. And that’s where I suppose to the world. And there was a problem.

 

To naravno ne važi samo za posao lekara, ali to je u mojoj državi, a verujem i šire, slučaj koji je najčešći. Mnogi ljudi postaju doktori zaboravljajući šta zapravo znači biti doktor i koliko je to zapravo plemenit posao. Ja, koja sam sposobna da upišem i završim bilo koji fakultet i koja sam mogla da biram fakultete, jer sam vrlo dobar đak, odgovorna i spremna na odricanja, izbarala sam ono što volim, ne ono što mi je svet rekao. I tu sam se suprostvaila svetu. I tu je nastao problem.

 

Then when you dare, then when you rebel, then the world looks at you as a black sheep in the world full of the white one. But it’s not your fault that you are different. And it’s not your problem that they are all the same. Instead of they been laughing at you because you are different, you should laugh at them because they are all the same. I rebelled, I went some way that none of them expected me to go. And that’s where my freedom begins. I’m happy because in less than a month I will go to study. Do you know what that means? That means I chose a good path for myself. The way I’m going to be happy. It’s the whole point of life.

 

Onda kada se usudite, onda kada se pobunite, onda svet na vas gleda kao na crnu ovcu u moru belih. Ali nije vaša krivica što ste drugačiji. I nije vaš problem što su svi oni isti. Umesto što se oni vama smeju jer ste drugačiji, vi njima treba da se smejete jer su svi oni isti. Ja sam se pobunila, krenula sam nekim putem kojim niko od njih nije očekivao da ću poći. I tu počinje moja sloboda. Ja se radujem jer ću za manje od mesec dana da krenem da studiram. Znate li šta to znači ? To znači da sam izabrala dobar put za sebe. Put na kome ću biti srećna. To je cela poenta života.

 

This story could last forever. But I won’t tell you anything more, I think you have understood the point of this short story. You must follow your dreams. You mustn’t allow people to affect you. Your life decisions only apply to your life.

 

Ova moja priča bi mogla da traje zauvek. Mogla bih da vam pričam do sutra kakav je osećaj bio kada se suprostvaite svetu I kada vas svet odbaci. Ali neću, mislim da ste shvatili poentu ove moje kratke priče. Morate da sledite svoje snove. Ne smete da dozvolite da ljudi utiču na vas. Vaše životne odluke se odnose samo na vaš život.

 

I’ll tell you just another thing – life is unpredictable. It’s full of different options. Never in your life will you know what will happen next. You don’t have to finish school and college, but you can be successful. On the other hand, you can finish the most prestigious faculties in this world and stay in the street tomorrow. And again, you can also study what you love, do what you love in the place you love and succeed in it. You never know what will happen tomorrow. So you should just live your life. In hope. In dreams. Dreams are beliefs. So believe me. Believe that this life has a lot to show you and surprise you. So let yourself be the one who you are before the world tells you who you need to be. And let life be what it is and just believe in it – good things in life take time. And that someone believes in them.

 

Reći ću ti samo još nešto – život je nepredvidiv. Pun je različitih mogućnosti. Nikada u životu nećeš znati šta će se naredno dogoditi. Ne moraš da završiš škole i fakultete, a opet možeš postati uspešan. Sa druge strane, možeš da završiš najprestižnije fakultete ovog sveta i da ostaneš na ulici sutra. A opet, možeš i da studiraš ono što voliš, radiš ono što voliš u mestu kojeg voliš i uspeš u tome. Nikad ne znaš šta će se desiti sutra. Tako i treba da živiš život. U nadi. U snovima. Snovi su verovanja. Zato veruj. Veruj da ovaj život ima mnogo toga da ti pokaže i da te iznenadi. Zato dozvoli sebi da budeš ono ko jesi pre nego što ti svet kaže ko treba da budeš. I dozvoli životu da bude ono što je i samo veruj – dobrim stvarima u životu potrebno je vreme. I da neko veruje u njih.

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40 thoughts on “Disapproval by society – my experience | mteodoraa

  1. LiveNotExist says:

    This is something that is so hard to make most people realize or admit when they’re not in a similar situation. To give up on your own dreams and stop believing in yourself can break you down but by bit. It’s a battlefield out there… and not for the weak

    Liked by 2 people

  2. photosociology says:

    I’m so glad that you are going to follow your dream and I hope you enjoy college and training. The only person that will ever be in your life permanently is you. Others will come and go, so there’s no point in suppressing our goals to suit those who are around us. Life is to short to ignore our dreams.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. DutchIl says:

    Life is filled with challenges and how one deals with them will define who and what they are.. that is what living is all about!.. 🙂 you are a courageous young lady, so just follow your dreams guided by your heart and you will not go wrong… 🙂

    “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realize how seldom they do”.. Eleanor Roosevelt

    Liked by 1 person

  4. rolandlegge says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. I am glad you continue to have the courage to do what you are passionate about. You inspire me. I was fortunate to have parents who encouraged me in whatever I chose to do. I tried to be an accountant but this was not for me. Then I became a church minister in Canada’s largest Protestant church, The United Church of Canada. After 26 years of ministry, I have started my Life/Executive Coaching Business. Life is a wonderful adventure. I agree with you that we need to encourage each of us on our journey. We are not here to condemn dreams but to encourage people to follow their dreams. Well said.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. daniaqamar says:

    It is depressing how people never understand your passions, desires, and choices. Why they think that they know the best? Why earning more money is the top notch priority instead of doing something which fulfills and contents you. I want to do political science and business management but my father opposes it strongly because he thinks that I can never be successful at it because there arent any job prospects. Instead he wants me to go for something dry and boring economics. Aah life choices. Society is cruel. Period.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. pkadams says:

    Seems to be a universal thing, people wanting to hold other people back from their dreams because they did not chase their own dreams in life. Good for you for not letting yourself down! Only you can live your life. Build it the way you want it to be.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. vishalbheeroo says:

    You know I keep facing it from time to time on why I wanna move away to explore my life, that too from people who did nothing with their life because either they are cowards or lack the spine to do anything. Or, once in my early 20s was told not to study a particular subject by people who never ever been to university in their entire life. You should never pay heed to anyone but listen to your heart. It matters the most!

    Liked by 1 person

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